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Dead husband’s best friend wants me

Dead husband’s best friend wants me


Dear Pastor,

I don’t know what you would say about this, but I need your advice. I am a 50-year-old widow. My husband died four years ago and I am alone. I have two daughters and they are married and living in America. My husband died leaving me very comfortable. I am not in debt. The home is paid for. I am here in this three-bedroom house and I feel lonely sometimes.

I am still employed but mostly I work from home. I miss my co-workers very much. My friends check on me every day by calling me, but I do not socialise much. I have a sister who was never married and she doesn’t have children. She visits me at least once a week and she stays over whenever she comes. The main reason why I am writing to you is because I am having a challenge.

My husband’s best friend is a very decent man. He is 60 years old and recently he told me that he loved me and cannot get me out of his mind. I respect this man very much. He is single. Sometimes when I cook, I call him for dinner or sometimes he would come and pick up the dinner and leave. He is a strong man and if I need something to be done on the house, such as plumbing and electrical work, he takes care of them for me. It was a real shock when he told me that he was in love with me. He has never suggested that we go to bed, only that he wants us to get married and go to church. It is well known that he was my husband’s best friend, and I am afraid that people will say that we were together while my husband was alive. You know how people think, Pastor. I am getting to love this man. Soon after my husband died, a number of men didn’t even wait for my grieving period to pass. They tried to ‘bed’ me. I had to run them, but not with this man. I don’t know what to do. My children are in favour of this man and they are encouraging me to marry him. But they think I should make sure that he does not get the house if I should die before him. I am still thinking about this matter and I need your advice before I make this decision.

K.

Dear K.,

This man is in love with you and I see that you are getting to love him, too. Therefore, I suggest that if the love for him is strong, then both of you should get married.

You shouldn’t be worried about what people have to say about the both of you. People will always talk and what they say might not be right. Your children know that you need a male companion, so they are not standing in your way. They are good children. If you decide to marry this man, go and see a lawyer for advice regarding the house. Perhaps you should put your two children’s names on the title before you say I do with this man. I wish both of you well.

Pastor



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