Girlfriend is not wife material

Girlfriend is not wife material

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old. I am living with my mother but I am working in my father’s business. My father did not marry my mother, but they have always remained very good friends. My father told me that one of the reasons he didn’t marry my mother is because she is very jealous, and women were always around him. According to him, my mother felt that a man couldn’t have so many women around him and he is not going to bed with them.

My father has always had a soft spot in his heart for my mother. If she is not well, he tells me to take care of her and take her to the doctor. He fills her prescription and treats her as if they are still lovers.

I respect my parents to the max. My girlfriend knows how much I love my mother and she calls me a mama’s boy, and she says I should not be still living at my mother’s house. My father helped me to refurbish my mother’s house and I am very comfortable here. My girlfriend told me that we can get married after I leave where I am living. I told her that we will never get married because I am never leaving my mother.

My mother is 65 years old. My father pays me $17,800 a week and out of that I give my girlfriend $8,000 every week, and she is working. I don’t ask her what she does with her money but she is always asking me for more money, and she does not have any children. My mother likes her but I can’t tell my mother that she wants me to leave her house. I am saving to buy a house. I don’t have a lot of money. I told my girlfriend that we should put together and buy a house when we are ready and she said she does not believe in buying a house with any man. She wants to buy a house on her own, but said that if I want, I can buy a house and put her name on the title. I am so faithful to this girl. I am beginning to believe that she does not like me as much as I like her. I would like to have a child and she agreed that we should have a child, but every time we talk about it she asks me when am I going to leave my mother’s house.

Please tell me what you think about this relationship. I don’t want to make a mistake.


Dear D.W.,

First of all, I would like to say that you need to leave this young woman. You should not let the relationship continue at all. She is not a good woman and she doesn’t have any reasoning ability. I have said before and now I repeat; if a man is living at his parents’ house and he is quite comfortable there and his parents are not harassing him or asking him to leave, he is assisting them with the bills and he does not have to pay rent, why should he leave there because his girlfriend believes that it is time for him to be on his own?

If you allow this woman to tell you what to do and you are not even married, could you imagine what she would do if you guys were married? You are with your mother and she is now an elder. You did not say if you are her only child but I can read through the lines. She loves you and your father respects your mother and occasionally he assists her although they do not have an intimate relationship. You are comfortable at this house. Why are you allowing your girlfriend to turn your head? I tell you this, sir, straight up, she is not wife material. I am using the people’s word.

What a fortunate girl to be getting $8,000 a week from you and you don’t ask her what she is doing with it. This girl doesn’t have any sense. You suggested that you could put some money together and buy a house in the future and she said she is not buying any house with a man. That girl is talking like an idiot. So son, run this girl out of your life right now. She is not a good woman. I don’t even think I should say more.


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