I am 20 years old and I need to talk to you about my problems. When I was 17 and a half, I got involved with a man who was 40 years old. This man treated me well.
I love him because he used to give me a lot of money and I was able to buy the clothes that I liked, and he used to take me to clubs. On my 18th birthday, he put on a party for me and I invited many of my friends. Some of my girlfriends fell in love with him and one of them pushed herself on him and he took her on. To cut a long story short, she is now pregnant for him. She and I are no longer friends because I can’t believe that she would take over my boyfriend. He asked me to forgive him because he made a mistake. I asked him why he did not use a condom and he said that she said she was on the pill. This man and I always use the condom, so why did he take the chance and have sex with this girl without using the condom? He has three children and he is supporting them very well and supporting me well at the same time. Now that this other girl is pregnant he has to be sharing his money with her and her child, and I am not willing to break up with him because I may never get another man like him. Right now, he is sending me back to school and we have started living together. I told him that he shouldn’t accept the child that the girl is carrying. He should tell her to give the child to her boyfriend and he said that he cannot do that. But her boyfriend thinks that he is the one who got her pregnant. I have forgiven this man and when I realised that he had got this girl pregnant, I decided to withhold sex from him. But I couldn’t do that for long. Pastor, please tell me what to do.
You should not blame this young woman for getting involved with your boyfriend. If he did not want to be involved with her, she could not force him to be with her. I am not trying to say that she does not love him. Both of them decided to become sexually involved and as a result, she has become pregnant. He knows that he has impregnated her. He has admitted it to you. You are wrong for telling him not to accept paternity and for him to tell the young lady to tell her boyfriend that he is responsible for getting her pregnant. You should not encourage him to tell such a lie. What you should do is to tell him to support the child the very best he can after she has given birth. I know you are concerned about the possibility of getting less money from him now that he may have another child to support, but you should seek a part-time job and not leave all the pressure on this man. I wish you well in school. Be very careful what you say. I know you trust your boyfriend but he has let you down. I repeat, encourage him to accept paternity and to take care of the child.