Pastor, I am a 31-year-old man and I am living with a woman who I would love to make my wife, but she makes me feel inadequate. I am a security guard and she is a household helper.
She does not work every day. I am the only child for my parents. My father is dead so my mother and I have been living in our house. We have everything to our convenience. I went back to school and I have still not finished studying. When I met this woman, it did not take me long to fall in love with her. Although she has never been married, she has had lots of experience with men. I respect my mother. She is a Christian so I did not take many girls home. But my mother has always encouraged me to settle down and to give her grandchildren. But I am telling you what I can’t discuss with my mother. As I said, I would love to settle down with this woman but she likes hardcore sex and she told me so, and she likes to make noise when we are having sex. She also likes to chat while having sex and when I tried to tell her to keep quiet, she thought that was because I didn’t know what I was doing. Do you think that I should consider giving up this woman for someone who is younger? Would that make me feel that I have use? Because right now I don’t feel like I have any use and she has told me so. Sometimes I have to make sure that my mother is sleeping because of the noise this woman makes when I am trying to have sex with her. Maybe other guys in her life have spoiled her. Please give me your advice.
If you intend to have children, this is not the woman for you. You should definitely consider another woman in your age group or younger and one who will not make you feel inadequate.
I get the impression that this woman makes you feel as if you are wasting her time. You are trying to make her happy but you are not succeeding. You are fortunate that you are living in a home that you do not have to spend money for mortgage or rent, and this woman should appreciate that. But she is not behaving as if she cares about you. She is very selfish, so while I hate to repeat what I said before, I think you should consider ending the relationship with her because she does not have the right attitude. I don’t want to comment on the noise and chatting during lovemaking. Couples enjoy that but evidently you do not. Her general attitude towards you is bad. I believe you would do better having a younger woman.