Pastor, I am in my early 50s and I am divorced. I am in a new relationship but my new woman is 35 and she is hot. I am wondering if I have put myself into trouble. Sometimes when we are doing our thing and I see the way she is reacting, I wonder if this relationship is going to work. Sometimes I think this woman is with me because of what she can get. I have a house, two apartments and two town houses, and my town houses are occupied by good tenants. My girlfriend has three children and I assist her occasionally with them. I have asked her to tell me whether or not she loves me, or if she is with me to get what she can. She says that she loves me. I would love to get married again, but I want to be sure. Please tell me what you think.
I don’t know why you are questioning the relationship that you are having with this woman. You have not complained that she has been unfaithful to you. It seems that you believe that you are inadequate and that is why you call her ‘hot’. Do you rather have a woman who is dead in every way? This woman is lively and it seems to me that is what you have a problem dealing with. I want to suggest to you that you tell your girlfriend the truth and suggest that both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor for sessions. When you meet with the counsellor, raise all your concerns. This woman might be totally honest with you and might not be with you for what she can get. She might be genuine, but that does not mean that you should not have concerns. Show her that you love her but don’t accuse her of doing anything wrong. Don’t judge her motives and I wish both of you well.