Dear Pastor,

When I met this woman, she was talking to two men. I enjoyed having sex with her, and fell in love with her.

I was treating her well and she convinced me that she had stopped talking to the other men. This was in March 2021. In April, she lied that she was going by her female friend. Instead, she was cheating. I called her one night in May. Her dude answered and said I should not call his girlfriend. I confronted her about it and she apologised. At that point, I started playing the game my way. I decided that I was going to get her pregnant and perhaps she would stop cheating. But I never forgave her.

We started living together in July, and I felt confident that she had changed. But I was thinking about the best way to hurt her for cheating on me, because I am vindictive. In September she was getting calls from the same dude, but she refused to answer the phone while she was with me. When I called her and could not get her, she told me that she was talking to her mother. But there were no calls to her mother. I continued to show her love, because we were still having sex and she was paying most of the bills. I was waiting on the perfect time to hurt her.

UNTIL THE BABY WAS BORN #

In October, the day before her birthday, she went missing. When she finally answered my call, she said she was at her sister and she was busy. In November, we had a fight and I didn’t see her until the second week in December. I wanted to make sure that she was pregnant. My wish came through. But I had proof that she had sex with the dude in the early part of December. I was bitter and upset, so I went back to my original plan, which was to leave her. But because she was pregnant, I decided to wait until the baby was born.

This January, she betrayed me again, even while pregnant. I sent a picture of the ultrasound to the dude. He said that they had sex the day before her birthday and in early December, so the child cannot be his. I begged her not to communicate with him. Then she said she was sorry for her mistakes.

She is due to have the baby in August and was having sex once per month with the other dude. I can’t pretend that I love her anymore because I don’t. I don’t care who wins the game. All I want to know is if I should keep playing with her heart and allow her to play with mine. Whenever I want sex I call her, and the other dude does the same. Should I wait until the child is born, leave her now, or tell her that I don’t love her? Or do I keep on playing her? Should I tell her to ask the dude she cheated with for money and even sex, too? Or should I continue to find excuses for not seeing her?

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

This is not a good relationship. This woman doesn’t love you, and you do not love her. She has been making a fool of you for a long time. How can you not see that trying to punish this woman because she cheated on you is also punishing yourself? You are embarrassing yourself by having conversations with this man.

When you started the relationship with this woman, you knew that you were involved with a bad girl. She knew that there was nothing good in you, either. Both of you used each other. In plain Jamaican Patios, she was giving you ‘bun’ and you were well aware of it. But you continued to have a relationship with her, because you thought you were smarter than her.

The boyfriend you described as a ‘dude’ must see you as an idiot. I hope that you will change and realise that this relationship is not going anywhere. Both of you should go your separate ways. You were not wise enough, because you could have walked away when you realised that nothing could stop this girl from cheating.

Now she is pregnant and it seems that you are not sure whether you are the father of the child. So I suggest that when the baby is born, you should do a DNA test. If you are the father, you should support the child even if you do not wish to continue this relationship. I wish you well.

Pastor