Dear Pastor,

I am in love with an American man, but he is much older than I am. I am 40 years old and I have three children. This man is almost 70 and his children are grown. I met him in Jamaica.

He told me that from the time he saw me he fell in love with me. I spent a couple of nights with him. Of course, he is a white man. He did not hold back on anything. Some of the girls I was moving with on the north coast told me to ask him if he was up for a threesome. They wanted some of his money. He said he was not interested in that, he was only interested in me.

This man promised that he would come back to Jamaica and marry me. He is divorced. One of his daughters called me and told me that her father told her about me and she was anxious to meet me. He has not yet returned to Jamaica. But, pastor, I have a boyfriend in Jamaica and I am afraid to marry this man because my boyfriend will not give me up easily. If I am to marry this white man, I would do so just because I want to go to America. Even when he was here and we were having a good time, my mind was on my boyfriend. I had to lie while the man was here.

Although my boyfriend is a Rasta, I love him. When this man sends me money, sometimes I give him some of it and I tell him that I got the money from my uncle. I told my white friend that we should not be in a hurry to get married, but we should try to know each other better. What I would like for him to do is to help me open a bar. He said he would consider doing so. If he sends me money to start a bar, I will try to get out of his way. I would like my Rasta man to be in charge of the bar.

I know you are not going to support me in what I am planning to do. I don’t want to walk away from this man without getting anything from him.

Y.L.

Dear Y.L.,

You are not in love with this American man. You should tell him so and not plot a scheme to get his money. You had a good time with him while he was in Jamaica; you went with him because you wanted money. Your girlfriends wanted to get in on the act because they wanted some of his money too. He was not interested in having a threesome because he probably couldn’t manage, and you young girls probably would have killed him. His heart couldn’t stand it.

If you want to start a bar, go and borrow the money and do so on your own without the help of this American man. Your Rasta boyfriend should help you go into business. I can’t imagine your boyfriend encouraging you to rob a man and go into business and put him in charge. I would say to you now, stop taking money from this man. Stay with your Rasta man and keep out of trouble.

Pastor