Dear Pastor,

I am a farmer and I have been doing farming from the time I was a young man. My father had acres of land that his parents left for him. He farmed and sent all of us to school.

My mother did not work out. She stayed home and took care of the house and the cooking. They loved each other. My father could not read much, but we had to go to school, and he did his best to help us.

When I was going to school, I told myself that I would like to graduate and keep the farm going, but I would also like to be a builder. My father showed me a piece of the land and told me I could build a house on that spot. I became interested in a young woman in the area. When I said it to my father, he said: “Son, I would not advise you to get involved with her because she could be your sister, because her mother and myself had a thing going and people say the girl resembles me.” So, I told one of my sisters and she said she heard that argument before. My father used to give her money to give the girl to go to school. So I backed away from that girl.

I found another girl, but my father told me that I should continue to ‘pleasure myself’ and don’t look for any girl from the area, because the girls resemble each other and I can’t know who is who. I have found a girl. She is of light complexion. I know she is not related to me. Although she is the daughter of the principal of a school that is 20 miles away, she likes me. I am willing to give her a try. I showed her the spot that I will build a house for the both of us. Her mother told me that I should go back to school and educate myself. Her father and her mother broke up.

My father told me that I should wait until I have finished my house before marrying this girl. Whenever I go to see her, I am welcomed to the house. I don’t have any subjects, but I am a hard worker. This girl wants to be a teacher like her mother. She is 28 years old. Do you think I am doing the right thing by considering this girl to be my wife? Do you think that she will cheat on me when she becomes a teacher, considering that I don’t have any education?

F.

Dear F.,

Accept the suggestion from this young woman’s mother. Go back to school. You are a good man and you mean well. Not everybody has to have formal education, but you need enough education to function and to get ahead in life. Sometimes when couples love each other, they can help each other. If there is genuine love between you and this girl, she can help you. If you are not too proud, her mother, who is a teacher, can also help you. But you will have to learn to humble yourself.