Dear Pastor,
I am 23 and I am a university student. I used to live in the country but I moved to Kingston and was staying with my older sister. When I was younger, we used to get along very well.
But since I have got older, she has become very jealous of me. She said that I got everything from our parents and she got nothing. She came to Kingston and worked with a man and his wife as a helper. She had an affair with the man and his wife asked her to leave. The man rented a place and moved her in there and he left his wife and went to live with her. But he and his wife made up. My sister is still with the man.
ACCUSING ME #
I did not know the full story before coming to Kingston. Now my sister is accusing me of having an affair with this same man. I am not interested in him. I have a boyfriend. This man has offered me gifts many times. I told my boyfriend about his offers and he told me that I should accept whatever money he offers as long as I do not give him my body. My sister does not like to see me talking to this man. She told me that she is going to need the room that I occupy. I told her boyfriend and he told me that I should stay and he will talk to her about it.
Now she is angry with me because I told him that she gave me notice. I do not pay rent, but my boyfriend suggests that we offer it to her. Right now, I only contribute to electricity. If I wanted to have an affair with my sister’s big-belly man, I could have done so. But I don’t like him that way.
My boyfriend is also a university student. He is 24. We have talked about going on our own but we can’t afford that yet. This big-belly man would leave my sister at the snap of my fingers and have a relationship with me. He is always winking at me and I often pretend that I don’t see. My boyfriend told me that I should tell him to buy me a car. Do you think that is wise? I know he can afford it but I am afraid that my sister will throw all my clothes outside. She gets lots of things from this man and he pays all her bills. I would like to hear what your opinion is.
J.
Dear J.,
It is indeed regrettable that you have to be living at your sister’s home. You have good reason to believe that she doesn’t like you.
She got a job as a helper and became sexually involved with the man of the house. As a result, his wife dismissed her.
The gentleman rented a place for her to live in and he lived with her for a short time. He and his wife got back together and he moved back to his house. But your sister was not prepared to end the relationship with him, so both of them are still carrying on. When you came to Kingston, she allowed you to share facilities with her but she suspected that you would have an intimate relationship with this man. The man wanted you but you didn’t want him because you are a woman of principle and you have good morals.
Your boyfriend is encouraging you to take whatever money this man has offered you. Please don’t listen. Don’t accept any money from this man. If you do, this man will soon put you on your back and your sister will curse you. You and your boyfriend will have to find a place to go to. So, tell this man that you are really not interested.
I know you are at university but I am going to suggest that you try and get yourself a part-time job, because you have personal needs. To keep your sister quiet, I suggest that you offer her some money for the room you occupy. Perhaps $10,000 per month might be a reasonable amount. But, in the meantime, try and find another place to live. Ask around your university if there is any female student who has accommodation and with whom you can share.
Pastor
