June 21, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am in a relationship with a man who is living in Jamaica. He and I became friends when I was 17 years old and I visited relatives in Jamaica. He is in his early 20s. When he saw me and asked me how old I was, I lied to him. He believed what I told him. My relatives told me that he had a girlfriend so I should not listen to what he said.

I went out with him because no one in the home had a car. This guy would pick me up and take me wherever I wanted to go and take me back home. He was very kind but he kept asking me for money. I told him that I did not have money because I had just started college. He also asked me for sex and I told him I was a virgin and that I did not want to give away my virginity. He said I can’t keep my virginity forever.

One day, my cousins wanted us to visit some other cousins in St Elizabeth. He asked if he could come with us and my cousins said they didn’t want him to come because they didn’t trust him. When we got back from the country, he came to the house and told me that he wanted to see me for the last time before I left. I told him he could take me to the airport. He said he didn’t have enough gas to do so. Two of my cousins were coming with me, so I gave him money to put gas in his vehicle and to take us to the airport. On my way to the airport, we stopped at a gas station and bought gas. He was upset because my cousins were with me and, when he took me to the airport and I hugged him, he got back in his car and drove away leaving my cousins stranded.

When I came back to America, I called him and told him that I did not want him. He asked me to forgive him because he did not want to hurt me. I forgave him and we are in a relationship. My heart is not with him because, according to what I heard, he now has a babymother but he has denied it. Do you think I should continue with this man? I would really like to know.


Dear V.J.,

You know enough about this man why you should not continue the relationship. Your relatives are only trying to help you. They were trying to put you on your guard, so to speak.

They know him and they felt that they should tell you not to make yourself a fool by going with this man. He tried to get lots of money out of you but he did not succeed. He has not been a gentleman. Don’t believe a word he says. End the relationship with him. Encourage him to support his child.