Dear Pastor,
I am 40 years old and I have four children. I am very unhappy. My children’s father and I have been living together for 15 years. He was very cruel to me, but I did not want to leave my children because three of them are girls. So I stayed with him.
A few years ago, I met a man and I fell in love with him. My sister introduced him to me and she told him all the hard times that I was going through with my children’s father. He went back to America and started sending me money. But, before he left, I must tell you the truth, he was the only man apart from my children’s father who I allowed to see me naked.
This man sent barrels of everything that a woman would want for her children, including shirts for the children’s father. My sister who is abroad pretended that these things came from her. This half-white man came back to Jamaica just for a weekend and I found time to go to be with him at a particular place in New Kingston. He wants to marry me. I don’t know what to do because I need his help.
My sister said that she knows him well and he is not a poor man. He was married but the marriage did not work. I don’t find any faults in him. I felt guilty for taking money from him but I need money to take care of myself. I have been with my children’s father for a long time and the most I have ever got from him is $10,000 to go to the supermarket. This other man bought me cosmetics, beautiful underwear for my girls, and gave me US$350. I told my sister what he gave me and she asked me “What more do you want?”
I am planning to leave my children’s father and secretly get married to this other man in December. I don’t want anybody to know apart from my sister. How can I go about marrying this man?
G.
Dear G.,
I understand what you are saying, but you will have to make your own decision whether you want to end this abusive relationship with this man. You have been with him a long time and he did not make life easy for you.
Your sister has helped you to find another man who has been very kind and helpful to you. If you think that you must move on, I can only assure you of my prayers. I believe that you trust your sister. I do not believe that she will lead you astray. Whatever you are planning to do, make sure that you advise the police so that the father of the children will not come after you and try to hurt you.
This man is an American citizen, so you need to discuss the matter with the Ministry of Justice, which is located on Constant Spring Road in St Andrew. The officials there will give you all the information of how you go about marrying this man.
Pastor
