Wondering if my boyfriend is too old

Wondering if my boyfriend is too old

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 16 years old. My boyfriend is 25 years old. I am the second child for my mother. This man and I became friends and my mother encouraged me in the relationship because this man used to give me money even before I started to have sex with him. I got money from him from last year when I was 15. He said he would not have sex with me until I was 16. So when I turned 16, I didn’t even wait for him to ask me. I told him I was ready. I am going to be 17 this year. I am still in school and he has promised to give me a new cell phone but I told him that I preferred a laptop, so that is what I am going to get. My boyfriend has a babymother but I don’t care about that. She is not in my way and I am not in her way. My mother is living with a man. He doesn’t make much money but he is very helpful. He knows about my boyfriend and he told me before I was 16 that I should not have a man, and I told him to mind his own business. My boyfriend promised that he would not get me pregnant. Any nice thing I want and I ask him for it, he gives it to me. His babymother is older than he is. Do you think that anything is wrong for us to continue our relationship? The relationship has not affected my school work. I would like to go to university and he has promised to pay the fees. Do you think he is too old for me?


Dear E.H.,

You want me to tell you whether this man is too old for you. You are trying to set me up. You were so annoyed with your stepfather when he told you that you were too young to be having a relationship with a man and you cursed him. Now you have passed the age of consent and you are having sex with this man and he is supporting you and giving you enough so that you can give some to your mother. If she is using that money to buy food, your stepfather is getting some benefit too. There is another problem you should really think about while you are having a good time with him. He has his child’s mother and he has to support the child. You say you don’t care about that but you should care because you should remember that life is not a one-sided game. Although this man has made promises to you about sending you to school. He is going to have two women in his life, his babymother and you, and really he should have only one woman in his life and that one woman should be his child’s mother. It is likely that one of these days when pressure reaches him, he is going to drop you like hot bread because he will not be able to financially support his child’s mother, his child and you. Therefore, you see that I cannot encourage you in this relationship. If you were in this woman’s position, you wouldn’t like to know that your man had another woman in his life. May I urge you to focus on your school work and remember that you can attend university without financial assistance from this man. You can apply for a student loan and go to college.


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